Aspiring writer, over-enthusiast of many things.
General thoughts, loves, interests and laughs.
Other page is sam-rollings.tumblr.com
Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/
Reblogged from accidentalfortuity  80,182 notes
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

fuckingrecipes:

foxyplaydate:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP.
YOU SEE THAT SHIT UP THERE THAT’S FUCKING CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKE
DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A CAKE COVERED IN HOT GOOEY CHOCOLATE FROSTING IN LESS THAN 15 MINUTES? 
THE CORRECT ANSWER IS A VIKING WAR CRY AS YOU CHARGE INTO BATTLE.
STEP 1: COMPLETE A VIRGIN SACRIFICE. (SATAN MUST BE PRESENT BECAUSE THIS CAKE IS SO DELICIOUS IT’S PROBABLY A SIN.)
STEP 2: PREPARE GENERIC BOX CAKE RECIPE ACCORDING TO BOX DIRECTIONS. BACK TO THE CLASSICS MOTHERFUCKER. MIX USING THE SPINE OF YOUR ENEMIES. 
STEP 3: POUR INTO A LARGE MICROWAVESAFE CONTAINER (LARGER THE BETTER, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE DEEPER THAN THE MARIANAS TRENCH FOR OPTIMAL LAVA)
STEP 4: TAKE A SMALL TUB OF GENERIC FROSTING FROM YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET OF SIN. SWIPE A MACHETE AROUND THE INSIDE OF THE TUB LOOSENING THE WHOLE TUB FROM THE SIDES AND PLOP INTO MIDDLE OF YOUR CAKE BATTER. DO NOT MIX. 
STEP 5: PUT INTO MICROWAVE FOR EIGHT MINUTES AND SET THE TABLE USING CHINA YOU RAIDED FROM WEAKER VILLAGES. 
STEP 6: REMOVE FROM MICROWAVE AND LET SIT FOR ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS. THIS IS BEST SERVED MOLTEN LAVA HOT ACCENTUATED WITH THE TASTE OF BLISTERS ON YOUR TONGUE. 
STEP 7: GET A SERVING DISH WITH A LIP THAT CURVES UPWARD SO LAVA DOES NOT OVERFLOW AND PLACE UPSIDE DOWN ON TOP OF CAKE AND FLIP OVER.
STEP 8: LIFT SLOWLY, COOKED CAKE WILL SIT ON PLATE AND LIQUID FROSTING WILL SPILL OVER SIDES. 
STEP 9: CELEBRATE WITH VICTORY SEX. 
STEP 10: EAT. 

IF YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE GORGEOUS FUCKERS WHO DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE SEX, YOU CAN SUBSTITUTE WITH AGGRESSIVE CUDDLING OR NEON-COLORED POST-IT NOTES FULL OF ADMIRATION FOR SOMEONE’S EXISTENCE. 

did fuckingrecipes just equalize this post for the asexual population gallifrey bless fuckingrecipes

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

fuckingrecipes:

foxyplaydate:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP.

YOU SEE THAT SHIT UP THERE THAT’S FUCKING CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKE

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A CAKE COVERED IN HOT GOOEY CHOCOLATE FROSTING IN LESS THAN 15 MINUTES? 

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS A VIKING WAR CRY AS YOU CHARGE INTO BATTLE.

STEP 1: COMPLETE A VIRGIN SACRIFICE. (SATAN MUST BE PRESENT BECAUSE THIS CAKE IS SO DELICIOUS IT’S PROBABLY A SIN.)

STEP 2: PREPARE GENERIC BOX CAKE RECIPE ACCORDING TO BOX DIRECTIONS. BACK TO THE CLASSICS MOTHERFUCKER. MIX USING THE SPINE OF YOUR ENEMIES. 

STEP 3: POUR INTO A LARGE MICROWAVESAFE CONTAINER (LARGER THE BETTER, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE DEEPER THAN THE MARIANAS TRENCH FOR OPTIMAL LAVA)

STEP 4: TAKE A SMALL TUB OF GENERIC FROSTING FROM YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET OF SIN. SWIPE A MACHETE AROUND THE INSIDE OF THE TUB LOOSENING THE WHOLE TUB FROM THE SIDES AND PLOP INTO MIDDLE OF YOUR CAKE BATTER. DO NOT MIX. 


STEP 5: PUT INTO MICROWAVE FOR EIGHT MINUTES AND SET THE TABLE USING CHINA YOU RAIDED FROM WEAKER VILLAGES. 

STEP 6: REMOVE FROM MICROWAVE AND LET SIT FOR ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS. THIS IS BEST SERVED MOLTEN LAVA HOT ACCENTUATED WITH THE TASTE OF BLISTERS ON YOUR TONGUE. 

STEP 7: GET A SERVING DISH WITH A LIP THAT CURVES UPWARD SO LAVA DOES NOT OVERFLOW AND PLACE UPSIDE DOWN ON TOP OF CAKE AND FLIP OVER.

STEP 8: LIFT SLOWLY, COOKED CAKE WILL SIT ON PLATE AND LIQUID FROSTING WILL SPILL OVER SIDES. 

STEP 9: CELEBRATE WITH VICTORY SEX. 

STEP 10: EAT. 

IF YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE GORGEOUS FUCKERS WHO DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE SEX, YOU CAN SUBSTITUTE WITH AGGRESSIVE CUDDLING OR NEON-COLORED POST-IT NOTES FULL OF ADMIRATION FOR SOMEONE’S EXISTENCE. 

did fuckingrecipes just equalize this post for the asexual population gallifrey bless fuckingrecipes

Reblogged from johnnyrocwell  3,291 notes

sailorfuckshit:

invisiblelad:

paigeabendroth:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

anightvaleintern:

Rat Queens Issues 1 & 2 - Highlights

Written by Kurtis J Wiebe

Purchase Rat Queens on Comixology

I was kind of just wondering why Tumblr isn’t talking about this fabulously crude comic about awesome ladies.

SERIOUSLY, ALL OF YOU

GO FORTH AND BUY IT AND ENJOY THE AWESOME LADIES BEING AWESOME

INCLUDING FABULOUS QUEER AND POC LADIES ALSO

And much ridiculous-ness

I love their ‘FUCKING TENTACLES AGAIN, WHAT THE HELL’ reaction in that fifth panel so much :D

I just read through volume one and this is now one of my favorite comics! It’s fucking great and I highly recommend it.

Sorry, but they’re entirely right. This comic is way too much fun to read.

one of the better fantasy comics of the last few years. please read.

Reblogged from thefeminineending  218 notes

thefeminineending:

Fandoms cover of Lorde’s “Royals:

We’ve never played a sport without a broom
We catch the midnight screening of a movie
We’d follow Indy through a tomb,
We write fanfic like it’s our duty.

And we’re always like one ring, brown coats,
Shippin’ in a chatroom
Night Vale, Kobol, meet me up on Mount Doom,
We don’t care, we drive Deloreans in our dreams.
And everybody’s like, Disney, X-Men,
Gotham City blackness
Jacob, Edward, Peeta, Gale, and Katniss.
We don’t care, we’re just caught up in their love affairs.

'Cause we live in the fandoms
Gallifrey is in our blood
Sports and clubbing ain’t for us
We crave a different kind of buzz.
And we’ll find it at Hogwarts
With Mario and Luigi
And in Hyrule
And in Final Fantasy.

We’ve memorized Konami code
We buy the comic on the day its released
And everypony ‘round here knows
that our friendship is literally magic

And we’re always like Star Trek, Marvel,
Camping out at Halfblood
Benders, Scoobies, Hannibal’s a hot stud.
We don’t care, we fly starships in our dreams.
And everybody’s like, Downton Abbey,
follow me on tumblr,
Amy, Rory, Sherlock, and his Doctor.
We don’t care, we’re just caught up in their love affairs.

'Cause we live in the fandoms
Gallifrey is in our blood
Sports and clubbing ain’t for us
We crave a different kind of buzz.
And we’ll find it at Hogwarts
With Mario and Luigi
And in Hyrule
And in Final Fantasy.

Ooh ooh oh
We fight evil with Sam and Dean
Cosplay is not for Halloween
Ooh ooh oh
A long, long time ago…
We just wanna win the Game of Thrones

'Cause we live in the fandoms
Gallifrey is in our blood
Sports and clubbing ain’t for us
We crave a different kind of buzz.
And we’ll find it at Hogwarts
With Mario and Luigi
And in Hyrule
And in Final Fantasy.

____________________

With special thanks to @razedphoenix for his lyrical help and infinite patience.

  • Track: Fandoms
  • Artist: The Feminine Ending
  • Album: The Feminine Ending's Covers
  • Plays: 3054